On Change

Here we are….on the last day of the year. When I was younger, that felt magical. When I hit high school, it just meant the end of the longest break from school for the year. In college I became all about the resolutions.

This year is different. I know I keep going back to it, but the two years since my grandparents and uncle passed have been under more scrutiny than any other time period in my life. Maybe that’s because it coincided with my 30th birthday. Maybe it’s because my family dynamic changed suddenly. All I know is that this December 31st is vastly different than any other December 31st that I can remember.

This year was a jumble of medical issues (broken finger, infected finger, having strep twice, more fighting with anxiety and depression), and a roller coaster at work. Opening the outpatient clinics, the big Children’s Hospital move, and then winding up unemployed.

What I do know for sure is that change will happen. Independent of anything I do, change in inevitable. Knowing that makes the whole idea of resolutions silly. We are never the same people at the end of the year that we were in the beginning.

This coming year I want to focus on accepting change more readily. Last night I read Rage Planet, which is the first graphic novel featuring Jessica Cruz. This serves as the intro to the two new Lanterns, and is amazing beyond explanation for someone suffering from anxiety. Jessica’s partner, Simon Baz, is unimpressed with Jessica because of her struggles. However, through the course of the book, they come to trust each other and to see that even though flawed, there are reasons why each was chosen to be a Lantern.

I absolutely love the character of Jessica Cruz. She’s more than just a superhero. I can relate to her as a human being.

I know the Green Lantern interjection feels like I’ve fallen off course in this post – I haven’t. I promise. You see, rather than trying to change, I want to be better at handling change. I want to be able to go with the flow and not be so rocked by change. I want to believe in myself. I have Family and friends, and I know who I can count on to help. But I think it’s time I learn to believe in myself.

Change will come, whether we want it to or not. The only thing we have control over is how we handle it. This coming year, I am focusing on handling it with grace, optimism, and no small amount of self-forgiveness. I know this won’t be easy or immediate, but it feels like a goal worth working towards.

Have a safe and happy New Year, and don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve got this!

HEEEEERE’S HOLLY!

I promise you, Charnel House Reviews is nowhere near dead! Despite an absence of several months, I have returned to bring you honest reviews on everything HORROR. For those of you wondering where I’ve been – it’s all been work related.

For over a year I’ve been a temp with a local healthcare company. Myself and several other temps have been working to move a local children’s hospital. It went in stages – first were the outpatient clinic moves. We moved them to two floors of a building in what’s called the “medical corridor”. Basically my company is creating a centralized area with special hospitals and clinics so it’s like one-stop shopping. I work with the hardware installation team, setting up computers and the peripherals (printers, scanners, etc.)

The clinic moves were smooth and quick, compared to the hospital! The deadline for the hospital was November 10, 2017. Up until that date I worked 6 days a week, often more than 10 hours a day. As crazy as it sounds, other support departments like Environmental Services, Plant Operations, and Clinical Engineering worked as much (if not more) than my team! Electrical wires don’t install themselves, in the same way that patient rooms aren’t sterilized until a team goes through and cleans them.

All in all it was grueling, exhausting, and sometimes unnoticed work. (People don’t always realize how much support services do – I know I certainly knew only a drop in the bucket of what the other services did until working with them.) Along the way I met some really amazing people, and we pulled it off in ways we hadn’t even expected, given the obstacles we encountered along the way.

In many ways I’m still recuperating from the exhaustion. But knowing we did it for the kids makes all the difference!

The hospital is up and running, we’ve passed our critical support period, and things are settling in nicely. I’m getting back to my hobbies and trying to get ready for Christmas. The 29th is going to be my last day with the company, unless I am hired on permanently. I am one of 6 applicants, and bossman says he’ll let us know next week. Fingers crossed!